Don't Let Me, Don't Let Me...
May 20, 2017 6:17:01 GMT
SpaceyQueeny, gillianquigley, and 1 more like this
Post by LadyEvatrice on May 20, 2017 6:17:01 GMT
So, here's the Ryouko's dying thoughts fic I promised since I was reading and watching too much Fate.
Summary: Sometimes, the truth is more painful than one expects.
Sometimes, the writer under the guise of Tobirano Tengoku liked to reminisce about times before the tragedy that drastically altered his life had occurred, when he had been particularly foolish and had expected the one person by his side to be there for longer than he would have liked back then. Now that he had a break from his side manga, he was resting at his desk, hoping that the terrors of possible deaths his now-gone best friend could have suffered wouldn't flash through his dreams like they did when he slept in his bed. He definitely needed sleep after pulling three all-nighters in a row-his new editor didn't demand such strenuous conditions from him, but he really wanted to elude those night terrors as much as possible-and as much as he was trying to fight sleep, his eyelids were getting far too heavy.
In his mind, he was on a trip to a foreign country with his dead best friend when she was alive. As he recalled, it was due to an art exposition featuring his work, and her parents hadn't cared that she'd gone with him. His editor was busy, so he needed someone to handle the necessary sidework of having a show, and Ryouko was happy to help. The smile that she showed to the him from then had touched his heart back then, though he had preferred to pretend to shrug it off. He hadn't loved her in the exact way she had loved him, but to him, their relationship was like that of siblings. She had been hopping around, pointing out a lot of places she was particularly excited to see. Back then, he had asked, "Why are you so excited? Los Angeles is a big city, just like Tokyo, Ryouko-san, so is there really any need to be so--"
"It's my first time being in a big city," the red-haired girl had cut in. "The biggest city I've been in throughout my life was Morioh, and even with its sights, I'd seen most of it by age 14. I would have been happy even if you'd taken me to Tokyo, Rohan-kun," Ryouko admitted, twirling around as much as she could while holding his hand. "Junko travels the world, and so does Mukuro-Nee, but they never had a need for me to come along, since Mom and Dad went with them while I stayed with my grandfather. You've met my family before. They don't care what I do, and if it weren't for me telling Junko that you're my boyfriend, she would have tried to seduce you and make you hate me. So this is probably my first real taste of freedom from them." Her eyes seemed to avoid his, and he squeezed her hand, much to his surprise. "And it's with you, so that only makes it better."
He reached his right hand out to pat her on the head, and she didn't seem to mind that his pen was also patting her on the head. "Sorry. Didn't know how much this trip meant to you. But in the free time we have... let's enjoy it by doing things we both would enjoy. And whatever else you want to do, Ryouko-san," he said as he caught her gaze with a gentle smile. "I'll be your escort, as this very much has something to do with me. What do you think?"
Ryouko jumped up and quickly kissed him on the lips, and his right hand quickly moved from her head to his mouth to cover up the encroaching blush on his cheeks. "Thank you, Rohan-kun!! I truly do love you, you beautiful man!"
"H-heh... flattery will get you nowhere, little lady...!" He laughed haughtily as he linked arms with her to visit some of those itineraries.
He quickly awoke from his dreams to feel something cold pressed against his cheek, and he caught the smirk of a little white-haired girl holding an iced coffee. "You finally have a nice dream for once, Onii-chan?" she asked as she hopped up on his desk and handed him the drink.
"... What's it to you, Malphas, or should I say, Illya-san?" he said with a sigh as he rubbed his temples before taking the iced coffee. "At least it wasn't a nightmare like the last one I had a few days ago. Those could destroy a witch from the inside out, let alone a human." He glanced at the little girl with red eyes as he drank some of the iced coffee. "... I now can completely understand the state of mind Eli-san had when she tried to do that very resurrection that made you..."
Malphas, or rather, Illya, was drawing something on some of his paper with his pen and ink much in the same way he did sometimes, with the paper and pen levitating in the air. "With your power, you could pull off the resurrection, but the result would be a blank slate of her... you know that, though, and you would be right that you'd have to put your best friend through everything that made her the way she was when you knew her." She caught the paper once she was done drawing and held it out to him. "I drew you, Rohan-Onii-chan!"
Rohan looked it over, and for a homunculus little girl who had lived for a long time as a demon, it was pretty good. "It looks pretty nice." Against what little better judgment he still held, he reached his hand out to her. "As the great demon Princess Malphas... I command you to show me Ryouko Otonashi-san's final moments from the first game... so I can try and obtain closure..."
Illya stared at him, bewildered, and sat up to kneel on his desk. "I'm going to be honest with you, which is rare for me to do with people who summon me, being Malphas and all. This is a terrible idea and you shouldn't pursue it. You don't want her death to be the last thing of her alive in your memory. Your mental state is far more in shambles than you'll ever admit, which is why I don't intend to take your soul, however arrogant you are, and however funny it would be to see you in Hell. As your current demonic servant, I'm going to advise you that this idea is terrible. If you're getting beat up now with that much self-preservation, you'll have even less self-preservation if you go through with this."
"I didn't ask for your opinion, Illya-san," he snapped, stabbing his desk with a pen, narrowly missing her leg. Her worried stare turned exasperated. "Show me her final moments or I'll destroy your form right here by denying you." Illya kept her gaze fixed on the Creator Witch, whose glare remained unwavering.
After a long silence, Illya sighed and took the hand that was still extended to her. "Fine, on the condition that you bring that editor with you. I hate having to stress anyone connected to you like this, but she's the only one I could think of who can stop you if the revelation is too much for you, besides the person whose death you're so adamant on viewing."
"Deal." Rohan called up his editor, and once she arrived at his house, he grabbed Illya by the hand and went down to greet Cry. "Cry, this is Illyasviel, also known as Malphas. Illya-san, this is my editor, Cry. Let's get going."
Illya laughed softly, swaying with her hands behind her back. "I've already met Cry. She calls me Illy! Anyway, sorry you had to come here. He threatened to destroy my existence if I didn't do this, but you're the only one who can keep him under some sort of control these days," she spoke with a sheepish tone.
Cry fixed her glasses and gave a quick look at her employer. "I'm sure she already asked, but, are you sure about this, Rohan? I'm here to make sure you don't completely lose it, but if you're certain about this, then..."
"I'm certain. Maybe if I know what killed her, I can find a counter thing to bring her back," he tried to joke. With a pen in hand, Rohan drew up the shape of a glass bottle with a message in it, and it took a solid form that fell into Illya's hands. "Now, if you'll do the honors..."
Illya proceeded to drop the bottle on the floor, startling both adults present, and she started laughing as she picked up the pages that used to be in the bottle. "I could have just made the bottle disappear with magic, but since I'm gonna need as much magic as possible, I figured I'd go with the easy solution." She skimmed through the pages. "Plus, you deserve being scared like that, Onii-chan, though I'll probably feel bad about it later.” She thumbed through the pages, ignoring the glare from the Creator witch she was contracted with. “Ah, here we go. I wasn't present in this game, but I did review it and the second game before my first appearance. We'll start at the dawning of the sixth and seventh twilights." She snapped her fingers, and as they were sucked into the story, she changed into one of her holographic birds to minimize the use of magic. "So, we'll start by watching the deaths of this twilight, then go to Ryouko-Onee-chan."
Rohan recalled this pair of deaths as the ones that had really shocked the outside world, since children were chosen for the sacrifice, and here he was, technically witnessing this particular set of deaths firsthand. Nagisa Hoshijo and Will Byers, as he recalled it. The artist, his editor, and the bird form of the demon homunculus child he'd summoned followed the two young boys to the kitchen, the artist noting that they were holding hands and looking fondly at each other.
The two boys had seemed to have come to the kitchen for a late snack, and as they were in the pantry and refrigerator, the Golden Witch had appeared right behind them, watching them with a kind gaze that really irked Illya to the point that her bird form kept trying to peck Eli to no avail (after all, it was a mere projection akin to a hologram). Eli apologized for startling the two boys, and proceeded to serve them tea. She calmly explained to them that they had been chosen for the sixth and seventh twilights, but they need not fear, as once her game was over, she intended to let them live happily in the Golden Land with everyone they cared about.
".... All right, if I can be with Shizuka-san, and be able to be around Will-san, then I'm fine..."
"Yeah, as long as I can be with Nagisa, and meet JD and Veronica... then we'll help you, Eli."
"You two... while I normally hate couples... you have the same innocence as my sister... so that's why I can't bring myself to be cruel to you. I'll give you what is due to you, so just keep holding hands, no matter what, okay?"
"Okay." "Yes."
"If you want to say you love each other, then do so. I'll let you say your goodbyes."
"... Will-san... I... really like you..."
"Me too.... Nagisa..."
The poison in their cups slowly kicked in, and once they finally passed, Eli set up their chairs so the two were close, and she made sure that their hands didn't let go. She left the teacups near their bodies along with a letter on their corpses, and quietly vanished by the stroke of two o'clock.
Time skipped to the early morning, and they found themselves in Ryouko's room. Out of courtesy to her, Rohan didn't look as she got dressed, and noted that she was using her usual method of ensuring alibis with duct tape seals on her room. "Those were always really effective, she told me," he bemused. Ryouko merrily skipped out of her room, listening for the telltale signs of a discovered crime, humming the song that he recognized as the one that inspired his pen name.
"I'm going to ask you one last time. Are you sure you want to go ahead?" Illya asked him. "From here on, you can't turn back or un-see what you are about to see unless you repress it, again." Rohan's unamused glare brought out another sigh from the little girl-in-guise-as-a-bird. "Don't say I didn't warn you."
Rohan mumbled, "What do you even mean, 'repress it again,'" and they went back to following the excited Ryouko into the kitchen. "She never cared much for taking other people's feelings into consideration. Ryouko-san could have been a wonderful detective." His face looked almost grateful to see her alive again, and the little bird perched on his shoulder.
"... Rohan..." Cry had an apprehensive look on her face, and Rohan could tell it wasn't from seeing another version of herself present in the room. He observed Ryouko doing her obligatory detective work, even cataloguing items so they would be classified as Red Truth, and he felt a sense of peace watching her do her detective work. Ryouko had always been good at analytical work, to the point her notebooks were considered equal to Red Truth.
"... What do you think, everyone?" Ryouko asked, and the short bit of peace Rohan felt was immediately shattered as he saw one of the few male humans approaching Ryouko. From where he was standing, Rohan was witness to the horror creeping in Ryouko's eyes as a knife was shoved into hand to pin her to the kitchen counter. The red-haired girl couldn’t struggle, and she could only gape at her assailant.
"Ryouko-san!!" Before Illya or Cry could grab him, Rohan was trying to rescue Ryouko from the scene in vain, his hands passing through the projections. The manga artist stumbled back slowly as the first blow from the meat hammer came down on his best friend's head. "Ryouko... Ryou... ko..." His already shaky voice began to crack, and Illya finally managed to get him grappled with laser binds. "I have to save her... She's calling out for me in her thoughts...! Ryouko-san!!"
Cry grabbed his arm, averting her eyes from the murder scene. "I know you want to help her, but this is just a projection of what happened in the first game! You can't help this Ryouko, Rohan...!" Something in his words caught her attention. "Wait... What did you say about her thoughts....?"
"She's telling me... 'Rohan-kun... I know you won't let me down... even if it's cold...' And I refuse to let her down like this!!" He tried to reach out to her again, screaming as his best friend was killed before his very eyes. Her blood spattered onto the counter where her hand was impaled as well as onto her killer. “You bastard... you have no right to touch her...!!”
Bird Illya hesitantly spoke. "I think it's because we're in the fragment that we can hear her thoughts... Or it's because they're directed at Onii-chan..." She used one of the laser tendrils to wipe at the moisture dripping from his face that they knew were tears, but he wouldn’t admit to ever crying.
As the young detective was murdered, her thoughts started transmitting to them. "Rohan-kun... it really hurts... but it's okay... it's getting cold... but it's okay... because you're always in my thoughts... you'll never let me down... because my love for you... is so strong..." Rohan continued struggling against both the demon homunculus and his editor restraining him, not caring if the laser restraints hurt him.
"You bastard!! How dare you...!" he roared at Ryouko's killer, before he started to gasp heavily from wasting so much energy. "Ryouko-san...!! I'll murder him as many times as he hit you!! I’ll... never forgive him...!"
Cry squeezed his arm tightly. "He dies within two days, Rohan!! He doesn't get away with it! Trust me, you know I was there!" Both she and Illya felt him go slack, and they let go of him. "Rohan...?"
Rohan continued to stare at Ryouko's lifeless body for what felt like eons, and turned to face Illya and Cry with a look of pain, agony, and a slight hint of dissociation on his face. "You... you were right... I never should have asked for you to take me here or come along... why would that crazy bitch Eli write Ryouko-san's death like this...? And why would she make it so it's that asshole older Byers kid who kills her...?" He started to laugh in such an unsettling manner than even Illya was disturbed, and he fell to his knees while shaking with that dark laughter. He clutched at his head, fiercely wiping away at his tears. “I truly am stupid for pursuing this truth...”
Illya changed back into her more human form and hugged him tightly. "We're going back. I hate seeing you like this..." The scene dissipated, melting into the interior of the manga artist's house. Illya ran off to go make some tea while Cry escorted him back to his desk, to get him to sit down somewhere properly. He slumped back into the chair, looking distraught and drained.
"... I assume that's why you never told me how she died... besides the fact I didn't ask...?" he finally spoke, rubbing at his eyes with his sleeves that brushed his earrings. "... I think I remember what Illya-san meant... by the repressing again thing... that's two girls I know who died in a tragedy..."
Cry put a hand on his shoulder. "... Your bad luck aside... I did tell you when I first met you that she really did love you, and that much, you could tell, right? And you've always been merciful with her deaths when you have to write them... so she hasn't suffered like that always. She always gets a weekly visit from you at her grave... You’re more merciful to her than you think..."
Illya came in with the cup of tea, making care to set it gently in his hands. "Luckily, Ronove taught me how to make all types of tea, so this one should help you feel calm. And perhaps... one day, you'll have the miracle fragment where she lives, and you two get married so you can take her away from that family of hers, you can travel the world together..." She smiled sweetly, and her words struck a chord with him.
"... Have you been going through my memories, Illya-san? I know I don't talk in my sleep. ... Though this is pretty good tea."
The homunculus girl grinned at him. "Of course I have! How else would I know what you've repressed? Now, would you get down here so I can show you some affection, Onii-chan?"
"I refuse, now that I know you have no respect for my privacy!! And why won't you call me by my name properly?!" He glared fiercely at Illya, who merely touched a finger to her lips knowingly.
Cry shrugged at the two. "At least it's never a dull day with you two, even if we just dealt with tragedy. You are different around Illy than you are other people, though, Rohan. Kind of like you see her as a sister."
Illya ran up to Rohan and forced a hug on him. "There! I win!! See? No more crying today in my presence. Got it, Onii-chan?"
Rohan sighed dramatically. "Fine... Can I have a moment to myself, though? I swear to you, I'm not going to do something stupid like play in traffic or anything." He headed to his regular room and grabbed a notebook from under his pillow, conjuring up an image of Ryouko. "... I'm not sure what to do, now that I know that in some fragment, you died in such a horrible way... but if there's a chance I could bring you back... I would take it. Even with the work it would take to make that you into the one I know and care about."
The image of Ryouko smiled at him sweetly. "You try to keep yourself from caring, but it only hurts you more because you do care... but I'm sure the real me would be really grateful to hear those words. Maybe try to write that wrong by working through my deaths, and maybe, eventually, you'll find a world where I live? I know she’s out there, trying to get to that miracle fragment."
"I really miss you, Ryouko-san, you foolish girl," he remarked as he held her notebook over his head. "I'll work towards that world, though. I’ll make that world myself if I have to do it."
The apparition of Ryouko kissed him on the lips, and he covered up his red face with her notebook. "You're so much like a knight. I love you, Rohan-kun."
Rohan closed her notebook, and started heading back towards his work room as she vanished. "... Again, Ryouko-san, flattery will get you nowhere."
So don't let me, don't let me, don't let me down
I think I'm losing my mind now
It's in my head, darling, I hope
That you'll be here when I need you the most, so
Don't let me, don't let me, don't let me down
Don't let me down...
Summary: Sometimes, the truth is more painful than one expects.
Sometimes, the writer under the guise of Tobirano Tengoku liked to reminisce about times before the tragedy that drastically altered his life had occurred, when he had been particularly foolish and had expected the one person by his side to be there for longer than he would have liked back then. Now that he had a break from his side manga, he was resting at his desk, hoping that the terrors of possible deaths his now-gone best friend could have suffered wouldn't flash through his dreams like they did when he slept in his bed. He definitely needed sleep after pulling three all-nighters in a row-his new editor didn't demand such strenuous conditions from him, but he really wanted to elude those night terrors as much as possible-and as much as he was trying to fight sleep, his eyelids were getting far too heavy.
In his mind, he was on a trip to a foreign country with his dead best friend when she was alive. As he recalled, it was due to an art exposition featuring his work, and her parents hadn't cared that she'd gone with him. His editor was busy, so he needed someone to handle the necessary sidework of having a show, and Ryouko was happy to help. The smile that she showed to the him from then had touched his heart back then, though he had preferred to pretend to shrug it off. He hadn't loved her in the exact way she had loved him, but to him, their relationship was like that of siblings. She had been hopping around, pointing out a lot of places she was particularly excited to see. Back then, he had asked, "Why are you so excited? Los Angeles is a big city, just like Tokyo, Ryouko-san, so is there really any need to be so--"
"It's my first time being in a big city," the red-haired girl had cut in. "The biggest city I've been in throughout my life was Morioh, and even with its sights, I'd seen most of it by age 14. I would have been happy even if you'd taken me to Tokyo, Rohan-kun," Ryouko admitted, twirling around as much as she could while holding his hand. "Junko travels the world, and so does Mukuro-Nee, but they never had a need for me to come along, since Mom and Dad went with them while I stayed with my grandfather. You've met my family before. They don't care what I do, and if it weren't for me telling Junko that you're my boyfriend, she would have tried to seduce you and make you hate me. So this is probably my first real taste of freedom from them." Her eyes seemed to avoid his, and he squeezed her hand, much to his surprise. "And it's with you, so that only makes it better."
He reached his right hand out to pat her on the head, and she didn't seem to mind that his pen was also patting her on the head. "Sorry. Didn't know how much this trip meant to you. But in the free time we have... let's enjoy it by doing things we both would enjoy. And whatever else you want to do, Ryouko-san," he said as he caught her gaze with a gentle smile. "I'll be your escort, as this very much has something to do with me. What do you think?"
Ryouko jumped up and quickly kissed him on the lips, and his right hand quickly moved from her head to his mouth to cover up the encroaching blush on his cheeks. "Thank you, Rohan-kun!! I truly do love you, you beautiful man!"
"H-heh... flattery will get you nowhere, little lady...!" He laughed haughtily as he linked arms with her to visit some of those itineraries.
He quickly awoke from his dreams to feel something cold pressed against his cheek, and he caught the smirk of a little white-haired girl holding an iced coffee. "You finally have a nice dream for once, Onii-chan?" she asked as she hopped up on his desk and handed him the drink.
"... What's it to you, Malphas, or should I say, Illya-san?" he said with a sigh as he rubbed his temples before taking the iced coffee. "At least it wasn't a nightmare like the last one I had a few days ago. Those could destroy a witch from the inside out, let alone a human." He glanced at the little girl with red eyes as he drank some of the iced coffee. "... I now can completely understand the state of mind Eli-san had when she tried to do that very resurrection that made you..."
Malphas, or rather, Illya, was drawing something on some of his paper with his pen and ink much in the same way he did sometimes, with the paper and pen levitating in the air. "With your power, you could pull off the resurrection, but the result would be a blank slate of her... you know that, though, and you would be right that you'd have to put your best friend through everything that made her the way she was when you knew her." She caught the paper once she was done drawing and held it out to him. "I drew you, Rohan-Onii-chan!"
Rohan looked it over, and for a homunculus little girl who had lived for a long time as a demon, it was pretty good. "It looks pretty nice." Against what little better judgment he still held, he reached his hand out to her. "As the great demon Princess Malphas... I command you to show me Ryouko Otonashi-san's final moments from the first game... so I can try and obtain closure..."
Illya stared at him, bewildered, and sat up to kneel on his desk. "I'm going to be honest with you, which is rare for me to do with people who summon me, being Malphas and all. This is a terrible idea and you shouldn't pursue it. You don't want her death to be the last thing of her alive in your memory. Your mental state is far more in shambles than you'll ever admit, which is why I don't intend to take your soul, however arrogant you are, and however funny it would be to see you in Hell. As your current demonic servant, I'm going to advise you that this idea is terrible. If you're getting beat up now with that much self-preservation, you'll have even less self-preservation if you go through with this."
"I didn't ask for your opinion, Illya-san," he snapped, stabbing his desk with a pen, narrowly missing her leg. Her worried stare turned exasperated. "Show me her final moments or I'll destroy your form right here by denying you." Illya kept her gaze fixed on the Creator Witch, whose glare remained unwavering.
After a long silence, Illya sighed and took the hand that was still extended to her. "Fine, on the condition that you bring that editor with you. I hate having to stress anyone connected to you like this, but she's the only one I could think of who can stop you if the revelation is too much for you, besides the person whose death you're so adamant on viewing."
"Deal." Rohan called up his editor, and once she arrived at his house, he grabbed Illya by the hand and went down to greet Cry. "Cry, this is Illyasviel, also known as Malphas. Illya-san, this is my editor, Cry. Let's get going."
Illya laughed softly, swaying with her hands behind her back. "I've already met Cry. She calls me Illy! Anyway, sorry you had to come here. He threatened to destroy my existence if I didn't do this, but you're the only one who can keep him under some sort of control these days," she spoke with a sheepish tone.
Cry fixed her glasses and gave a quick look at her employer. "I'm sure she already asked, but, are you sure about this, Rohan? I'm here to make sure you don't completely lose it, but if you're certain about this, then..."
"I'm certain. Maybe if I know what killed her, I can find a counter thing to bring her back," he tried to joke. With a pen in hand, Rohan drew up the shape of a glass bottle with a message in it, and it took a solid form that fell into Illya's hands. "Now, if you'll do the honors..."
Illya proceeded to drop the bottle on the floor, startling both adults present, and she started laughing as she picked up the pages that used to be in the bottle. "I could have just made the bottle disappear with magic, but since I'm gonna need as much magic as possible, I figured I'd go with the easy solution." She skimmed through the pages. "Plus, you deserve being scared like that, Onii-chan, though I'll probably feel bad about it later.” She thumbed through the pages, ignoring the glare from the Creator witch she was contracted with. “Ah, here we go. I wasn't present in this game, but I did review it and the second game before my first appearance. We'll start at the dawning of the sixth and seventh twilights." She snapped her fingers, and as they were sucked into the story, she changed into one of her holographic birds to minimize the use of magic. "So, we'll start by watching the deaths of this twilight, then go to Ryouko-Onee-chan."
Rohan recalled this pair of deaths as the ones that had really shocked the outside world, since children were chosen for the sacrifice, and here he was, technically witnessing this particular set of deaths firsthand. Nagisa Hoshijo and Will Byers, as he recalled it. The artist, his editor, and the bird form of the demon homunculus child he'd summoned followed the two young boys to the kitchen, the artist noting that they were holding hands and looking fondly at each other.
The two boys had seemed to have come to the kitchen for a late snack, and as they were in the pantry and refrigerator, the Golden Witch had appeared right behind them, watching them with a kind gaze that really irked Illya to the point that her bird form kept trying to peck Eli to no avail (after all, it was a mere projection akin to a hologram). Eli apologized for startling the two boys, and proceeded to serve them tea. She calmly explained to them that they had been chosen for the sixth and seventh twilights, but they need not fear, as once her game was over, she intended to let them live happily in the Golden Land with everyone they cared about.
".... All right, if I can be with Shizuka-san, and be able to be around Will-san, then I'm fine..."
"Yeah, as long as I can be with Nagisa, and meet JD and Veronica... then we'll help you, Eli."
"You two... while I normally hate couples... you have the same innocence as my sister... so that's why I can't bring myself to be cruel to you. I'll give you what is due to you, so just keep holding hands, no matter what, okay?"
"Okay." "Yes."
"If you want to say you love each other, then do so. I'll let you say your goodbyes."
"... Will-san... I... really like you..."
"Me too.... Nagisa..."
The poison in their cups slowly kicked in, and once they finally passed, Eli set up their chairs so the two were close, and she made sure that their hands didn't let go. She left the teacups near their bodies along with a letter on their corpses, and quietly vanished by the stroke of two o'clock.
Time skipped to the early morning, and they found themselves in Ryouko's room. Out of courtesy to her, Rohan didn't look as she got dressed, and noted that she was using her usual method of ensuring alibis with duct tape seals on her room. "Those were always really effective, she told me," he bemused. Ryouko merrily skipped out of her room, listening for the telltale signs of a discovered crime, humming the song that he recognized as the one that inspired his pen name.
"I'm going to ask you one last time. Are you sure you want to go ahead?" Illya asked him. "From here on, you can't turn back or un-see what you are about to see unless you repress it, again." Rohan's unamused glare brought out another sigh from the little girl-in-guise-as-a-bird. "Don't say I didn't warn you."
Rohan mumbled, "What do you even mean, 'repress it again,'" and they went back to following the excited Ryouko into the kitchen. "She never cared much for taking other people's feelings into consideration. Ryouko-san could have been a wonderful detective." His face looked almost grateful to see her alive again, and the little bird perched on his shoulder.
"... Rohan..." Cry had an apprehensive look on her face, and Rohan could tell it wasn't from seeing another version of herself present in the room. He observed Ryouko doing her obligatory detective work, even cataloguing items so they would be classified as Red Truth, and he felt a sense of peace watching her do her detective work. Ryouko had always been good at analytical work, to the point her notebooks were considered equal to Red Truth.
"... What do you think, everyone?" Ryouko asked, and the short bit of peace Rohan felt was immediately shattered as he saw one of the few male humans approaching Ryouko. From where he was standing, Rohan was witness to the horror creeping in Ryouko's eyes as a knife was shoved into hand to pin her to the kitchen counter. The red-haired girl couldn’t struggle, and she could only gape at her assailant.
"Ryouko-san!!" Before Illya or Cry could grab him, Rohan was trying to rescue Ryouko from the scene in vain, his hands passing through the projections. The manga artist stumbled back slowly as the first blow from the meat hammer came down on his best friend's head. "Ryouko... Ryou... ko..." His already shaky voice began to crack, and Illya finally managed to get him grappled with laser binds. "I have to save her... She's calling out for me in her thoughts...! Ryouko-san!!"
Cry grabbed his arm, averting her eyes from the murder scene. "I know you want to help her, but this is just a projection of what happened in the first game! You can't help this Ryouko, Rohan...!" Something in his words caught her attention. "Wait... What did you say about her thoughts....?"
"She's telling me... 'Rohan-kun... I know you won't let me down... even if it's cold...' And I refuse to let her down like this!!" He tried to reach out to her again, screaming as his best friend was killed before his very eyes. Her blood spattered onto the counter where her hand was impaled as well as onto her killer. “You bastard... you have no right to touch her...!!”
Bird Illya hesitantly spoke. "I think it's because we're in the fragment that we can hear her thoughts... Or it's because they're directed at Onii-chan..." She used one of the laser tendrils to wipe at the moisture dripping from his face that they knew were tears, but he wouldn’t admit to ever crying.
As the young detective was murdered, her thoughts started transmitting to them. "Rohan-kun... it really hurts... but it's okay... it's getting cold... but it's okay... because you're always in my thoughts... you'll never let me down... because my love for you... is so strong..." Rohan continued struggling against both the demon homunculus and his editor restraining him, not caring if the laser restraints hurt him.
"You bastard!! How dare you...!" he roared at Ryouko's killer, before he started to gasp heavily from wasting so much energy. "Ryouko-san...!! I'll murder him as many times as he hit you!! I’ll... never forgive him...!"
Cry squeezed his arm tightly. "He dies within two days, Rohan!! He doesn't get away with it! Trust me, you know I was there!" Both she and Illya felt him go slack, and they let go of him. "Rohan...?"
Rohan continued to stare at Ryouko's lifeless body for what felt like eons, and turned to face Illya and Cry with a look of pain, agony, and a slight hint of dissociation on his face. "You... you were right... I never should have asked for you to take me here or come along... why would that crazy bitch Eli write Ryouko-san's death like this...? And why would she make it so it's that asshole older Byers kid who kills her...?" He started to laugh in such an unsettling manner than even Illya was disturbed, and he fell to his knees while shaking with that dark laughter. He clutched at his head, fiercely wiping away at his tears. “I truly am stupid for pursuing this truth...”
Illya changed back into her more human form and hugged him tightly. "We're going back. I hate seeing you like this..." The scene dissipated, melting into the interior of the manga artist's house. Illya ran off to go make some tea while Cry escorted him back to his desk, to get him to sit down somewhere properly. He slumped back into the chair, looking distraught and drained.
"... I assume that's why you never told me how she died... besides the fact I didn't ask...?" he finally spoke, rubbing at his eyes with his sleeves that brushed his earrings. "... I think I remember what Illya-san meant... by the repressing again thing... that's two girls I know who died in a tragedy..."
Cry put a hand on his shoulder. "... Your bad luck aside... I did tell you when I first met you that she really did love you, and that much, you could tell, right? And you've always been merciful with her deaths when you have to write them... so she hasn't suffered like that always. She always gets a weekly visit from you at her grave... You’re more merciful to her than you think..."
Illya came in with the cup of tea, making care to set it gently in his hands. "Luckily, Ronove taught me how to make all types of tea, so this one should help you feel calm. And perhaps... one day, you'll have the miracle fragment where she lives, and you two get married so you can take her away from that family of hers, you can travel the world together..." She smiled sweetly, and her words struck a chord with him.
"... Have you been going through my memories, Illya-san? I know I don't talk in my sleep. ... Though this is pretty good tea."
The homunculus girl grinned at him. "Of course I have! How else would I know what you've repressed? Now, would you get down here so I can show you some affection, Onii-chan?"
"I refuse, now that I know you have no respect for my privacy!! And why won't you call me by my name properly?!" He glared fiercely at Illya, who merely touched a finger to her lips knowingly.
Cry shrugged at the two. "At least it's never a dull day with you two, even if we just dealt with tragedy. You are different around Illy than you are other people, though, Rohan. Kind of like you see her as a sister."
Illya ran up to Rohan and forced a hug on him. "There! I win!! See? No more crying today in my presence. Got it, Onii-chan?"
Rohan sighed dramatically. "Fine... Can I have a moment to myself, though? I swear to you, I'm not going to do something stupid like play in traffic or anything." He headed to his regular room and grabbed a notebook from under his pillow, conjuring up an image of Ryouko. "... I'm not sure what to do, now that I know that in some fragment, you died in such a horrible way... but if there's a chance I could bring you back... I would take it. Even with the work it would take to make that you into the one I know and care about."
The image of Ryouko smiled at him sweetly. "You try to keep yourself from caring, but it only hurts you more because you do care... but I'm sure the real me would be really grateful to hear those words. Maybe try to write that wrong by working through my deaths, and maybe, eventually, you'll find a world where I live? I know she’s out there, trying to get to that miracle fragment."
"I really miss you, Ryouko-san, you foolish girl," he remarked as he held her notebook over his head. "I'll work towards that world, though. I’ll make that world myself if I have to do it."
The apparition of Ryouko kissed him on the lips, and he covered up his red face with her notebook. "You're so much like a knight. I love you, Rohan-kun."
Rohan closed her notebook, and started heading back towards his work room as she vanished. "... Again, Ryouko-san, flattery will get you nowhere."
So don't let me, don't let me, don't let me down
I think I'm losing my mind now
It's in my head, darling, I hope
That you'll be here when I need you the most, so
Don't let me, don't let me, don't let me down
Don't let me down...